2013 is nearly one-sixth over. Let that sit for a minute…
That said, it’s only fitting that my blog makes its debut in the New Year with something…well…new! And so, after much sass from my friends and colleagues alike regarding the idling status of constemplation, we’re back with something new and exciting that (unbeknownst to most of you) has been in the works for weeks now.
Since the beginning of this month, I’ve been perusing Facebook in search of the most thought-provoking, funniest, dumbest, most ridiculous status updates I can find, and I’ve been taking screenshots of them all along. I’ll be sharing them, and presenting some of my commentary upon seeing them. And really, what better time to do this than now? I’m wide awake (false), sober (false), and focused (also false).
Here goes nothing…
Maybe I’m being unkind. Maybe something really tragic happened to this person on this particular morning. But I’m betting on a coffee spill and traffic on the morning commute. Instead of posting your dismay on The Book, I’d recommend doing something about it (and no, this post does not qualify as doing something).
Fact: This person has their employer on their Facebook page and is posting this as their status. Fact: I think this is arguably one of the less intelligent things you could ever post on the Newsfeed. Fact: This person got a promotion two weeks later. Fact: I am losing faith in humanity.
Unfriend. That is all.
I recently had to clean out my bedroom at my parents’ house, as Mom & Dad are finally ripping out the carpets upstairs…the same ones I threw up all over following an overly-aggressive night out in high school. Regardless, I, too, came across some of my old sports “stuff” and have to admit that I’ve come a long way as well. Sigh, those were the days…even if they weren’t.
Kids speak the truth. This particular person happens to be a third grade teacher and, as someone who has listened to his mother’s hilarious stories about $h!t first graders say, I really, really enjoyed this status. Best intentions, worst results. Can’t beat that.
This is the best part about Facebook: Every once in a while, you come across a status as unbelievable as this one. Conversely, this is also the shame of Facebook: After an hour, this had only 2 ‘Likes’. That’s a travesty. What the hell is a PopTart dream? I Googled it…nothing. My mind is blown. I hope that, when I fall asleep tonight, I have PopTart dreams, if only so that I won’t have to wonder anymore. Warmth…sprinkles…frosting… It has to be fantastic.
And that’s all she (he, for the record) wrote. This was fun—it feels good to be back. Hopefully the ball is rolling.
Until next time (because really, who knows when that will be?),