2013 is nearly one-sixth over.  Let that sit for a minute…

That said, it’s only fitting that my blog makes its debut in the New Year with something…well…new!  And so, after much sass from my friends and colleagues alike regarding the idling status of constemplation, we’re back with something new and exciting that (unbeknownst to most of you) has been in the works for weeks now.

Since the beginning of this month, I’ve been perusing Facebook in search of the most thought-provoking, funniest, dumbest, most ridiculous status updates I can find, and I’ve been taking screenshots of them all along.  I’ll be sharing them, and presenting some of my commentary upon seeing them.  And really, what better time to do this than now?  I’m wide awake (false), sober (false), and focused (also false).

Here goes nothing…

Maybe I’m being unkind.  Maybe something really tragic happened to this person on this particular morning.  But I’m betting on a coffee spill and traffic on the morning commute.  Instead of posting your dismay on The Book, I’d recommend doing something about it (and no, this post does not qualify as doing something).

Fact: This person has their employer on their Facebook page and is posting this as their status.  Fact: I think this is arguably one of the less intelligent things you could ever post on the Newsfeed.  Fact: This person got a promotion two weeks later.  Fact: I am losing faith in humanity.

Unfriend.  That is all.

I recently had to clean out my bedroom at my parents’ house, as Mom & Dad are finally ripping out the carpets upstairs…the same ones I threw up all over following an overly-aggressive night out in high school.  Regardless, I, too, came across some of my old sports “stuff” and have to admit that I’ve come a long way as well.  Sigh, those were the days…even if they weren’t.

Kids speak the truth.  This particular person happens to be a third grade teacher and, as someone who has listened to his mother’s hilarious stories about $h!t first graders say, I really, really enjoyed this status.  Best intentions, worst results.  Can’t beat that.

This is the best part about Facebook: Every once in a while, you come across a status as unbelievable as this one.  Conversely, this is also the shame of Facebook: After an hour, this had only 2 ‘Likes’.  That’s a travesty.  What the hell is a PopTart dream?  I Googled it…nothing.  My mind is blown.  I hope that, when I fall asleep tonight, I have PopTart dreams, if only so that I won’t have to wonder anymore.  Warmth…sprinkles…frosting…  It has to be fantastic.

———————————-

And that’s all she (he, for the record) wrote.  This was fun—it feels good to be back.  Hopefully the ball is rolling.

Until next time (because really, who knows when that will be?),

constemplation

It’s hard to believe that 2012 is coming to a close.  It doesn’t seem like a year has gone by since, after a party at a family friend’s house and several tequila shots, I declared 2012 would be “my year”.  Was it?  Debatable, but it was a damn good year regardless.  And with that, we take a look back at the year that was (because really, who the hell wants to think about the year that wasn’t?).  Here goes nothing…

The year in sports peaked early for constemplation, with the New York Football Giants pulling out yet another victory over Tom Brady and the New England Patriots.  I watched the game in a room full of friends (who are all Patriots fans, because Giants fans aren’t exactly at a premium in fahhkin Southie dood, even despite the yuppie takeover).  The highlight of the game was undoubtedly Eli Manning dropping a perfect pass in between two Patriot defenders to Mario Manningham, who managed to hang on and keep both feet in bounds to set up Ahmad Bradshaw’s winning touchdown run.  The low-point of the game was my under-seasoned baked macaroni and cheese which, one particular party guest noted, “needed garlic salt”.  For the record, I agreed.

My love of traveling was also rekindled during 2012, sparked by trips to Nantucket and Jackson, Wyoming.  Frankly, there’s nothing I love more than the beach, and I was fortunate enough to experience two very different, yet equally amazing beaches this past summer.  The chilly yet refreshing salt water of Nantucket’s Fisherman’s Beach conjured memories of past summers spent on Cape Cod, while Jackson Lake, surrounded by the mountain peaks of Grand Teton National Park, simply blew my mind.  Oh, and there was that long weekend guys’ trip to Austin, Texas for a Longhorns football game and a concert at Stubb’s.  Speaking of which…

It was a great year for concerts, arguably (slash definitely) my favorite form of entertainment.  In May, I traveled to the fabled Saratoga Performing Arts Center (SPAC) to see Dave Matthews Band for the first time in a couple of years.  I saw Umphrey’s McGee kill it at Bank of America Pavilion (aka my backyard) for what was essentially a three-hour dance party.  Not to be outdone, I took in a Counting Crows concert at Stubb’s in Austin, Texas, which was an incredible show.  Lastly, I saw Zach Deputy perform twice, once on a Boston Harbor concert cruise and then at Toad’s Place in New Haven, Connecticut.  There’s nothing better than live music, and 2012 most certainly delivered.

In other news, I got promoted at work, read some great books, successfully completed a 13-mile Tough Mudder course, raised over $500 for Cystic Fibrosis research (thanks to you wonderful people), joined the Big Brother Big Sister program, achieved Gold Card status at Starbucks and, through it all, had an absolute blast.

I don’t know what 2013 will bring, but I have every intention of making it just as amazing as, if not even better than, this past year.  Cheers to that (raising my craft beer in a frosted mug while sitting by the fire, lost in the leather recliner at my parents’ house)!

See you in 2013,

constemplation

Song of the Day/Week/Year/Whatever: “United State of Pop 2012” - DJ Earworm

Awesome every year.

Happy New Year, everyone!  Hope 2013 brings health, happiness, and whatever else it is you’re hoping for.

Cheers to the year that was and, more importantly, the year that will be!

Best,

constemplation

In keeping with Italian ideals, holidays in my family’s house have always been about the food, as meals mean quality time spent together, which is all that really matters.  Christmas is no exception, as the exchange of gifts has become less and less relevant over the years.  This has actually added a surprising wrinkle to our family’s celebration.  Since there typically aren’t any big-ticket items exchanged, the gifts have come to be much less predictable and, frankly, much more amusing.  That said, I’m going to take a stab at ranking the best gifts I received this year, counting backwards from five.

5. Black dress shoes

Upon opening these, my mother asked, “Do you still like them?”…since I’d picked them out at Marshalls with her two weeks ago.  Thankfully, the answer was ‘yes’.  You just can’t teach good taste…especially at $34.99/pair.

4. 12-pack of Magic Hat #9

Upon opening these, my brother asked, “Do you still like them?”  Again, the answer was ‘yes’.

3. ‘Beers of the World’ book

This just cements my status as “Beer Snob Guy” (a nickname I did not give to myself, in case you were wondering).  In the past month (between my birthday and Christmas), I’ve been gifted a one-year subscription to Draft Magazine and two books devoted entirely to craft beers (Bud Light is not mentioned in either text—I already checked).  As I’m beginning to feel obligated to give some of my developing beer knowledge back to the general public, I may be adding a periodical column to this blog.  Let’s face it though: Any post I make these days is pretty periodic, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.  [Editor’s note: One of my New Years resolutions is to blog more…we’ll see what happens!]

2. Belts (1 brown, 1 black)

This is the only thing I actually asked for this year, because it was really the only thing I needed.  In the spirit of Christmas, or maybe just competition, my parents took it upon themselves to buy two belts apiece, one brown and one black, and put all four in one bag, forcing me to pick which ones I liked best on the spot.  Hilarious.  Thankfully, it was a split, so everybody won.  Except me, actually, since I told them the wrong size and now have to make the exchanges myself.  The lesson?  When buying belts, buy a size up.  Sigh…

1. Fleece-lined Crocs

No, that is not a typo.  These things are un-effing-believable.  They are so comfortable and so warm that even I can overlook the less-than-fashionable appearance.  Granted, that’s not saying much—I profess that I’ve never been a terribly fashionable human being, even though I was voted the third-best-dressed male in my high school class.  My mom still wonders how that ever happened, given that I wore mesh shorts more often than I wore khaki shorts.  Regardless, never did I ever expect to receive, nevermind actually enjoy, these shoes, but they are a game-changer in every sense of the word.

SOTW: “Bad Day” — Daniel Powter

Why?

Because I had a bad day.  Because I’m taking one (or three) down.  Because I sing a sad song just to turn it around.

Because the girl in the video was in The O.C.  Because this song was instrumental (pun intended) in the single greatest cab ride of my life.

Because this song is awesome.

Sorry I’m not sorry.

It’s not often that I’m at a loss for words.  And yet, after firing up my laptop nearly fifteen minutes ago, I find both this page and my mind to be uncharacteristically blank.  It’s strange how this all worked out really.  Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, in large part because the true essence of its origins remains intact to this day (save for Black Friday, but that’s a discussion for another time).  In other words, Thanksgiving is a time for family, a time for reflection, and a time to, quite literally, give thanks.

Oddly enough, Thanksgiving falls uncharacteristically early on the calendar this year.  I can’t even recall the last time it fell this early, aside from my mother telling me how, on Thanksgiving Day in 1987, she brought her first-born son home from the hospital…which brings me to my next point: November 21, the day before Thanksgiving, marks my twenty-fifth birthday.  So it is in the waning moments of my twenty-fifth year of life, and with Thanksgiving just another twenty-four hours away, that I take some time to reflect on how truly thankful I am for the past twenty-five years.

In the weeks preceding my birthday, I’ve jokingly referred to this day as my Quarter Quell (a reference that Hunger Games readers will appreciate, but one that will be lost on the remainder of you) and have had several people ask me what I was doing to prepare for my impending quarter-life crisis.  My response to such a question, which may not qualify as an answer yet remains my stance on the subject, is always the same: I laugh.

I hope, at least once tomorrow (or today, depending on when you’re reading this), that someone asks me how it feels to be twenty-five.  I hope someone asks me that question so that I can look them in the eye and say, in all sincerity, that it feels great.

I am reminded, each and every day, of all the things in my life that I have to be thankful for.  I have a family that has raised me to be the warm, selfless person that I am today.  I have friends that have provided endless encouragement and support, without which none of my life’s accomplishments would have been possible.  I have loved and lost, succeeded and failed, and laughed and cried.

And in doing so, I have lived what has been, thus far, a beautiful life.

To dread what lies ahead of me would be downright foolish, given all of the wonderful experiences and memories that life has provided me.  With that said, I want to genuinely thank anyone who has impacted my life in any way, shape, or form over the past twenty-five years.  I truly couldn’t have done it without you.

Looking forward to the next quarter-century,

constemplation

Sandy v. Southie — Day 2

SOTW: “Apologies” — Grace Potter & The Nocturnals

Truth be told, I don’t know if I’ve been this moved by a female artist since my middle school crush played “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton on her parents’ piano.  Hmmm…that seems a little drastic.  Perhaps I haven’t been this moved by a female artist since seeing Rachel Platten (the love of my life) at a tiny venue in Boston?  Also drastic.  But ya know what?  That’s how good this song is.  I won’t deny I’ve got a great wine buzz going at the moment.  The bottle of Malbec I opened earlier in the week has shed its harsh taste and matured into a drastically smoother finish.  Meanwhile, I am simply reaping the benefits.  Enjoy this song—seriously, it’s mind-blowing.  Until next time…

“he said it’s crazy how love stays with me / you know it hurts me that i didn’t figure it out before / and now it’s too late for a soliloquy / it’s way too late for dignity / it’s time for apologies”

After yet again falling asleep on the bus ride home from work (which I can’t seem not to do these days), I have arrived home in time to cook myself a quick dinner (a spinach, egg & cheese sandwich, if you must know) before settling down on the couch for what promises to be a competitive evening on television.  I will proceed chronologically.

Competition #1: Yankees-Tigers, 8 pm on TBS (Not competitive)

The Yankees, already down two games to none to the Detroit Tigers in the ALCS, send Phil Hughes to the mound to face the reigning AL MVP, Justin Verlander in a must-win game.  Not only are the Yankees in a putrid offensive rut, but they’re on the road facing one of the game’s best pitchers with a lineup devoid of Derek Jeter (injury), Nick Swisher (benched), and Alex Rodriguez (also benched).  While I’m not holding my breath, this could be Phil Hughes’ opportunity to finally validate management’s refusal to include him in any blockbuster trades, as the Yankees have never so desperately needed him to twirl a gem.  Before moving on to the next competition, let me just toss some Yankees playoff numbers at you,  because they’re that comical.  Alex Rodriguez is 0-for-18 with 12 strikeouts against right-handed pitching, Curtis Granderson has struck out in 14 of his 26 at-bats, and Robinson Cano (batting clean-up, mind you) has broken a postseason record with 26 consecutive at-bats without a hit.  I have no words… 

Competition #2: Presidential Debate, 9 pm on national TV (Somewhat competitive)

Next on tap is the presidential debate, where our President and the man hoping to replace him will answer questions regarding their plans for America going forward, should they be (re-)elected.  Translation: We’re going to talk so much $h!t about one another that Americans will be so consumed by tweeting their feelings to the social mediaverse that Facebook’s stock will actually jump a few points in after-hours trading.  It’s gon’ be cray.

Competition #3: Chopped—Halloween Special, 10 pm on Food Network (VERY competitive)

My not-so-bold prediction for this evening: Around 9:55 pm, the country will be divided and World War III will be in full swing, with violent tweets being fired back and forth between the blue and the red teams.  Without warning, the clouds part, giving way to a seemingly-divine ray of light.  A white-robed Tim Tebow emerges from the partition in the clouds, preaching peace and love on earth in the name of his Lord and savior, Jesus Christ.  Suddenly, no one cares about the debate.  Tebow, like he so often did for the Denver Broncos last season, has saved the day again.  No longer concerned with the debate, Americans will flip through the channels in hopes of finding Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo or perhaps even a Keeping Up with the Kardashians re-run.  An unsuccessful channel surf leads them to the Food Network, which will air a Halloween-themed Chopped episode tonight, which features Aaron Sanchez sporting an authentic mustache and sombrero while speaking perfect English and attempting to validate his heritage by throwing an exaggerated accent on any/all words from the Spanish language.

God, this is going to be a great night.

1. I have always considered rain to  be synonymous with sleep.  While rainy Saturday afternoons as a child may have been the start of my love affair with sleeping to the sound of the rain, this connection was only more reinforced by my landscaping days, in which the sound of rain drops upon waking up also meant going right back to sleep (which, unfortunately, was a fairly rare occurrence).  So you’d think that I’d be pleased that, just as I am headed for bed at 1:15 AM, it begins to pour outside.  This, however, is not the case.  Far from it, in fact, as I have yet again neglected to retrieve the empty Bud Light can that, since initially blowing off the roof deck and settling between two railing spokes on the landing near my bedroom window, now serves as a percussion ensemble each time it rains, ensuring with its loud and incessant “pinging” that I get a horrible night’s sleep.  Perhaps this will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.  In the meantime?  Damn it…

2. I was just watching Yellowstone: Battle for Life on Animal Planet, which literally follows the animals of Yellowstone National Park throughout the course of a year and chronicles their trials and tribulations necessary to surviving the (sometimes) harsh climate.  To be honest, I really wasn’t expecting much, but I eventually phased out Sportscenter as well as Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives in favor of the documentary.  Impressive stuff and, while not entirely (or even remotely) related, it made me quite excited for the triumphant return of Gold Rush to my regularly-scheduled television viewings.  Only 13 more days, baby!

3. After seeing an advertisement for Anthony Bourdain’s Guts and Glory tour, which stops at Symphony Hall in November, I went to look up tickets but failed on 5 consecutive attempts to type the correct letter/number combination for those stupid security photos they have on TicketMaster.  Seriously, if it gets any harder I will never be able to buy tickets online again.  On try number 6, though, I was able to determine that I could get balcony seats for under $43 after service charges (though orchestra seating is still available for closer to $90).  After reading Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential and watching him on No Reservations, I feel like he’d be highly entertaining.  I just hope his tour doesn’t blow my perception of him as a total badass.

4. Why am I still awake?  I am an idiot.  Going to bed now, or at least going to try to.  Here’s to hoping the rain hits the can tonight the way the Yankees have been hitting in the postseason.  Oh…speaking of the Yankees, here’s a great read on the state of the Yankees franchise and the fans’ rejection of its new corporate persona (among other things).